pieces of me

I wish that zhu-zhu will rest in peace.

2008-12-19T00:43:00.002+08:00

Buried him next to xiao-ai, hopefully they will get along well and xiao-ai will take good care of my beloved baby.

I miss him a lot but I know this is how life works..

a story

2008-12-17T16:33:00.001+08:00

found this post when I was cleaning up my blog entries.. by the look of it think I have not finished copying the story from zaobao..but the story is still nice nonetheless.. if anyone knows the ending, please inform me and I will complete this post.

有一个女孩每天都向佛祖祈求，希望佛祖能让她再看到踏春时那个令他一见钟情的男孩。后来，佛祖被她的诚意打动了，并现身跟她说要放弃现在的一切，包括爱她的家人，幸福的生活，还必须修炼五百年的道行，才能见他一面。

女孩立刻向佛祖跪拜叩头，并说：“可以，我能够。我不会后悔的。”说毕，女孩变成了一块大石头。

一年一年的过去了，五百年的风吹雨打，苦不堪言的是寂寞。最后一年，一个采石队来了，把大石头运进了城里，见了一座石桥。于是女孩变成了石桥的护栏。

石桥建成的第一天，女孩就看见那让她等了五百年的男孩。可是，那男孩匆匆地走过石桥，便马上消失在女孩的视线之外。

这时，佛祖又出现了，并问：“你满意了吗？”

“不！为什么？为什么我只是石桥的护栏？我甚至不能摸他一下！”

佛祖回答：“你想摸他一下？那你还得修炼五百年。你吃了那么多苦，不后悔吗？”

女孩义不容辞地说她愿意这么做，她不后悔。

女孩变成了一棵大树。

然后，又过了一个五百年。

最后一天，女孩知道他会来，但她的心竟然不再激动了。

然后，来了。他来了。

他走到大树下，坐在树荫下，靠着树睡着了。

女孩摸到他了！但她无法告诉他这千年的相思，她只能默默地为他阻挡阳光。

一会儿，他醒了，他看了这棵帮他遮荫的大树一眼后，便头也不回地走了。

佛祖又出现了，说：“你还想做他的妻子吗？那还得修炼。”

女孩回答道：“是的，我是很想，但是不必了。”

drama

2008-12-15T18:43:00.000+08:00

i love watching shows that make me cry.

it's not that i dislike comedy, i don't mind having a good laugh after a show. but i prefer, way prefer, drama with a very heavy theme, something that will make viewers feel very heavy after the show.

call me sick but i really enjoy the feeling.

people like to watch comedy because it can help them forget the stress and burdens they have for a while. eve though it cannot actually lighten their load, it helps by providing viewers a chance to breathe and forget all their troubles.

but why do i like sad shows?

my all-time favourite will be this Japanese movie called "love letter", it is a movie with a super heavy theme. i could not breathe after i watched the movie, for it was so heavy i almost suffocate.

maybe because my life is so boring i need something to tell me that i am actually alive?

i spend my days like a zombie, without much emotions and feelings. everyday it is about going to school, then tuition, then home. my life is about studying, pull my grades up, go out with dear, tuition.

i am deprived of feelings and emotions. i need a channel to utilise them; to remind myself that i can still feel, i am not a real zombie, yet.

think i am experiencing a very early mid-life crisis.

my final exam

2008-12-02T16:03:00.002+08:00

it is already the second week of my final exam.. this week, I get a taste of doing real audit.. I follow an engagement team to this small MNC.. basically, audit is not that fun, I have to do tests on almost every item on their balance sheet.. the deadline is this Friday, but my senior decides to push the deadline forward to Wednesday..

how exciting right?

this internship is so different from the previous one.. hmmm.. maybe it is like real working life vs holiday? Can't imagine my life is going to be like now after I graduate.. this is not what I really wish for..

sigh.. this world is so cruel..

*p.s. blogging at my client's place now.. cool huh?

this is ridiculous

2008-11-15T15:38:00.003+08:00

i am in my room now.. unwillingly.. i am being locked up..

was mopping the floor.. the wind blew.. my room door slammed.. and when i tried to open it.. i can't.. my brother tried to open from the outside, with keys.. also can't open it..

apparently the lock spoils.. that thing at the side (which keeps your door closed) won't retireve when i turn the knob..

now my mum's back & i heard her laughing.. great.. i feel so dumb now..

really feel like a dumba*s..

2008-11-14T23:59:00.001+08:00

i feel at peace. =)

I wish I..

2008-11-11T23:33:00.003+08:00

can age gracefully.
will feel comfortable just being myself.
come to terms with aging.

However, let me enjoy my youth for now... pardon me for my immaturity and the thought of wanting to appear youthful. I will learn to accept all those mention above when the time is right.

One pressing wish for now though:
Let me do well for my Law!
not asking for too much.. just good enough to not pull my already miserable CAP down further will do..

amazing!

2008-11-02T22:54:00.002+08:00

or at least I think I am..

I did nothing but projects today! did industry analysis for beer market in Singapore this morning.. after lunch went back to face my lovely laptop and drilled myself to look at the features of qualifying deductions for tax.. after dinner came back to my lovely room again and started editing the presentation for tax.. now my butt hurts.. *ouch!*

was supposed to go for a meeting today but I played truant at the last minute because I was too late.. the beer report gave me a lot of headache..

went to have my favourite ice kachang in Yio Chu Kang today.. feel so satisfied.. just 1 bowl of ice kachang can make me feel rewarded.. i'm easily satisfiable..haha..

realised I have 2 presentations this coming week.. haha.. this week is packed to the brim! :D

trade-off for "no exam"..

Ha! I know why am I feeling so depressed now!

2008-10-29T19:11:00.003+08:00

I am out of touch! I am insulated! I am alone!

I am feeling lonely..

I feel empty..

p.s. I would really like to dedicate the next part of my post to this special someone,

Thank you for being so pragmatic, it was really nice of you to change so much after this particular incident happened. Now I know how it feels like to have no one by your side.

Really like to thank you for giving me this opportunity to have a taste of being abandoned. And I hope you will get a taste of it soon too. This is part and parcel of growing up, I figured. =)

And let me tell you this: I could not get it does not mean that I am not good enough. In the same sense, you got it does not mean that you are in any way superior than me. So stop giving me this feeling that I am inferior, I am not! And stop treating me like I am unwanted, if you really think that I am a pest to you, say it and I will never bother you again.

But think twice before you do anything harsh though; you are not that popular either, you don't have that many cushions to fall on.

And stop playing with others. You will get your retribution one day.

Hope you know who you are. =)

it is almost to the brim!!

2008-10-29T18:39:00.001+08:00

1 test, 2 projects due next week.

2 tests and 2 more projects due the following week.

and my groups have not really started on any of the projects.

so cool~

=)

2008-10-20T08:21:00.001+08:00

work is piling up.

i can't breathe.

should I reply?

2008-10-12T23:24:00.003+08:00

my brother kept a letter of mine for 6 years! that was from my primary school friend from Hong Kong.. she wrote to me in September year 2002.. my brother opened the letter without my permission, kept it in his drawer and only returned it to me today!

seems like time files.. year 2002 doesn't sound that long ago.. but in fact 6 years have lapsed.. soon i will be graduating.. and I don't think I am graduating at a good time.. with the world going into recession and stuff.. guess it is just my luck.. -shrug-

wonder if she will entertain me if I write back to her.. after 6 years..

feeling kind of blue..

2008-09-29T18:02:00.003+08:00

why do i feel like i am so detached from the world that I was very familiar and comfortable with? seems like there is this invisible force that is pulling me away from everyone and everything..

p.s. this is a very emo post.. & that is why I have changed my song to something more "relaxing" for the time being..

guess how many hamster i have at home now?

2008-09-26T11:19:00.002+08:00

answer: 10!
provided that the 4 new babies all survive, which I think that should not be a problem..

now my house is "infested" with hammie.. told my mum right from the start not to put di-di together with her already..sigh..see la! now another batch of hammie..in less than 2 months' time!

now my father is nagging me day and night to give them away.. but i don't have the heart to..

guess i'll just have to stop them from mating.. if not my wallet cannot ta-han.. initially when there was only 2, i can buy a medium-sized hammie food and that can last for 2 months or so.. now I have 6 hammie, I have to replenish their food with the biggest pacakged food once a month.. I can foresee that after this batch grows up and start eating solid food, I'll have to buy hammie food twice a month!

a price to pay for not being firm enough with my mum..

I will not forget today..

2008-09-24T22:39:00.006+08:00

today, I went for my last interview.. today, i was humiliated (sort of)..

he is a manager in one of the "Big 4".. can't remember his name though, but his name is not important..let's just call him ass . i knew he didn't want to hire me once I saw his face.. I was told that he is the manager of the financial institution team, and so I guess he see himself as a class above the rest as he is an auditor who audit the banks, which is something that is deemed to be more prestigious than other industries (but of course, I disagree with this perception, totally)

maybe it's the way I dress today, or maybe I was just born like this, or maybe it is the way I carried myself today, I think I gave him this impression that I know nothing but mug, aka nerd. The following are some of the things he said that gave me this idea that he thinks that I am a nerd:

"I want my staff to be someone who is sociable and can interact with all kinds of people because I think that is the most important trait of a successful auditor"

"There is no textbook answer in the working world.."

"Many graduates made a mistake right from the start when they graduate; they chose to work as an auditor and as a result, they dislike their job because there is high level of interaction with others.."

"Once you enter the workforce, you will be overwhelmed with work, and by then you will face a difficulty of allocating time between work and building relationship with your teammates.."

"I don't want mere workers; I want someone who can express themselves and show that they have the ability to lead.."

guess it is just my luck that I was being allocated to this snobbish ass..or maybe I should actually thank him for all his subtle insults, for it is only after today, after all those things he said to me, that I found my goal: I will prove that snobbish ass wrong. If he is a manager, then I will work towards being a partner; I have to be better than him.

I won't disclose which accounting firm this is.. but I can drop a hint: company name starts with the alphabet that is before "L".. :p

Essential Brew

2008-09-12T18:57:00.005+08:00

it has been some time since the time I met up with S13 girls.. our last outing was to celebrate SY's very belated birthday..went Essential Brew@Holland Brew..

as the name suggests, it is a cafe that sells tea..yes, almost everything in their menu comprise of tea or tea-related products (even their appetizers and desserts also have tea!) the food was ok (personally i find their fries best, ironically, because there is no tea in it).. but well, it is the company that count..agree?=)

p.s. blogging in school now..lol..

i contributed to this beautiful card!(o^-^o)

oh my gosh!

2008-09-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

this is truly 1 hellish week for me! lots of sleep debts.. even more tutorial debts and presentation deadlines.. worse of all, i must start worrying about my rice bowl!!!

result: bad skin--> enlarged pores/ oily skin/ acne and blemishes/ dark eye circles );

argh!!! please let me survive!

Time Management!

2008-09-07T00:34:00.001+08:00

so much to do; so little time!

i need better time management! i need a higher time utilization percentage!

yuk..stop slacking..

Super spendthrift moi~

2008-08-29T18:00:00.002+08:00

there is a Tangs sale on campus today and yesterday..

within half an hour..

I bought $100.70 worth of stuff..

don't ask me what I bought, 'cause they are all really random..

Wondering how am I going to be able to save a sum for retirement man..

*tsk tsk*

it has been some time since i last blog

2008-08-27T19:46:00.002+08:00

yes, time indeed flies. didn't notice that the last time i blog was actually one week ago.. always thought that i have just updated my blog a few days ago only.. time really flies when the semester starts.. being a year 3 is seriously no joke, for the workload and pace is indeed 3times more than that of a Year 1..wonder why I didn't study harder 2 years ago.. or maybe I have already reached my capacity..?

9 months more before I kiss goodbye to my old identity..

谈恋爱是…

2008-08-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

和不一样的人做一样的事。

（有点悲哦…）

我的结论：一个人也能好好的过…问题只是在于你是否能接受而已…

love is...

2008-08-19T22:26:00.001+08:00

doing the exact same thing as you would when you are single.. just that you have a company instead..

conclusion: there is nothing special being in love.

setuju?

你幸福吗？

2008-08-16T22:37:00.001+08:00

我很好。虽然很忙，但我应该是幸福的（至少我妈是这么的认为）…

过去就让它过去…希望你能过得快乐一点，也希望你能找到你要的幸福。

献上我最真挚的祝福。

2008-08-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

看了不该看的东西…现在感觉很不舒服…

eh.. why am i so stupid and insensitive?

it is my bad..sigh..

some significant events..

2008-08-11T21:39:00.004+08:00

I lost my tuition fee on last Sunday.. a grand total of SGD240.. gone with the wind.. seems like I never learnt from my mistakes..I lost $10 once because I stuffed the note in my pocket.. and now I have done it again.. I am really amazing.. wonder who is that "lucky chap" who picked up my money.. SGD240 is enough for me to survive 1 month.. wish that person burn in hell.. =)
fell ill right after i came back from Kota Kinabalu.. cough, sore throat, running nose, fever.. spent the rest of my holiday sleeping at home.. my last school holiday is so great right?
got my hair cut right after i came back from Malaysia 'cos i couldn't stand the mess, and i regretted because my new haircut is so U.G.L.Y... I think that auntie did it on purpose 'cause I refused to let her wash or blow dry my hair (meaning she can earn less).. my brother said my new haircut has a very close resemblance to this Japanese actress in the 80s named 山口百惠.. I was speechless..
It's my first day of school today.. and seriously, it's not that great, especially if you have to attend lecture alone, and you know very well that majority of the students in that particular LT are ~~stupid~~ Year 1s (I am already kind enough not to call them freshies-- a title that I really dislike)

my stupid hamster really got pregnant (despite the fact that I kept disturbing them, hoping that they would feel too stressed then won't give birth).. and she gave birth to 5 little hammies T.O.D.A.Y.!! This is like so OMG!\(>o<)/ and worse is that she is a bad mum.. she dumped her little kids onto the wheel and then she ran on it! so her little babies were being thrown up and down for a million times before she stopped running..

Last but not least.. I realised I am not as poor as I thought when I went to update my passbook!heh heh.. at least I will not run into cash flow problem even after I buy my textbook for this semester!

*at last, something good happened..*

Last Friends

2008-07-30T13:12:00.003+08:00

Saw this columnist recommends this new Japanese drama, so I went to search for it and again, she didn't disappoint me.

This show is good. Only finished watching the first episode and I am addicted to it already.

Sorry, busy watching the drama, maybe I'll talk more about it next time round.

一面写blog一面做面膜的感觉是。。。

2008-07-29T13:27:00.002+08:00

终于有这个机会了！我最后的学生假期已经过得七七八八了，现在才有机会慢慢享受。。不过“迟到好过没到 ”，至少我还可以享受这剩下的两个礼拜。。

在这懒洋洋的下午，一面开着电脑听音乐、写blog，一面做面膜，真的是人生一大享受！
*虽然说其实做面膜的时候是蛮难打字的，因为我不能戴眼镜。。。*

嘿~ 再过多几天我就要飞了！生平第一次和朋友一起搭飞机出国，心情是超级兴奋的！！

再多一年我就要毕业了，而这是我最后的学生假期。。我一定会好好enjoy 的~

(o^-^o)

so glad my internship is over i don't have to see that bast*rd manager anymore~ this is the main reason why i am so happy =)

hello everyone. I AM BLOGGING IN OFFICE!

2008-07-23T15:30:00.002+08:00

yes, very surprisingly. i actually have the leisure to blog in office. well, all thanks to the stupid accounting software that my company is using; there is a problem with it and basically there is nothing I can do right now besides net surfing.

this should be my first and my last time doing this though, for my internship will be over in 2 days' time.

i will miss my colleagues definitely (but excluding my boss of course), but i am looking forward to the 2 weeks break after this week (even though i will have tuition), which include a short overseas trip with my dear friends. (o^-^o)

2008-07-11T16:22:00.001+08:00

i am a slut.

...
你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经
太美的承诺因为太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明
...

2008-07-02T16:34:00.002+08:00

when your hard work never seems to pay off..
when you have put in your 101% of effort and people just do not appreciate it..
and you know that there will never be a good outcome..

what will you do?

any rational human beings would give up(i suppose). but why am i not? why am i still holding on?

我的致命伤——执著。

or maybe it is my school motto, deeply rooted in me:
Simple in Virtue, Steadfast in Duty.

super evil manager..

2008-06-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

my colleague is quitting, he is not hiring.

results? i am going to take over my colleague's job for the month of July!

maybe i should feel honoured, for they think so highly of me and allow me to take over the duty that were meant for 2 permanent staffs.

smile. (o^-^o)

"chiong" week & my heartless manager

2008-06-07T14:34:00.002+08:00

it was crazy. i worked OT every single day in this week. and i broke my record again, this time round, i slept for only 1 hour before going for work again (reached home at 5am, got up at 6). think i am really a workaholic, setuju?

my heartless manager, despite knowing the fact that i only slept for 1 hour the night before, made me work OT again the next day. he went to fetch me from Boon Lay MRT in the morning, told me that he really appreciated my effort and asked me never to work till so late again, but guess what's in for me in the evening? there was something wrong with the accounting system and he made me stayed back to get it done (yes, not trying to brag, but i am the only one who knows how to fix the problem in the office)

"yu-qing, i think you better go home now le hor, you need to rest". after 5 minutes, "yu-qing, what do you want to have for dinner? pizza hut or mcdonalds'?".. so nice of him right?

at 12+ sm, the GM gave me 2 options because i was not done with my work: stay now, finish up with your work and i can take leave the following day; go home now and do my work the next day, he will pick me up at 6 30am from my house. obviously, i would prefer the former, but my manager was pressing me to choose the latter (probably because he wanted me to turn up for work the next day). i was so upset with him i wanted to cry.. he even offered to buy me breakfast, so nice of him right?

but in the end, i still got my way and stayed up in the office till my work was done.

the next day, i turned up for work nonetheless because i know the consequences if i didn't. when he saw me, his words were full of sarcasm, "so how was it? had a good rest? ", "look at her, she looks good right?", "so what did you do today? sleep right?"

... ...

a old fox that is not longer bothered to hide his tail. i am grossed out, totally.

hardworking intern award

2008-05-31T17:54:00.002+08:00

if there is indeed such an award, i think i deserve it.

not trying to brag but i really think that i am very hardworking and can be considered as a true chiong-ster.

the 1st time i did OT, i worked 'till 11pm in office. last night, i worked for 20 hours: 9am to 5am, and i reached home at 5 30am.

i think i am crazy. lol.

miserable days..

2008-05-25T10:18:00.002+08:00

2 weeks working in that office felt like 2 years. work is never ending, it kept coming and coming and coming.. think i am going to be drowned.

have diarrhea since the 3rd day at work; my appetite was gone since Monday; last night i had a nightmare about work.. sigh..

i am so drained i slept most of my 2 weekends away.. and after deducting the time i spent on household chores, eat, shit, tuition... ... there is really no more time left.

hope July faster come.

second day of work,

2008-05-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

my supervisor got sacked.

this is really bad. i came back from lunch only to find out that he has left the company. of course, i am only going to be there for 10 weeks so i am not bothered about their office politics, neither do i wish to know. but anyhow, i lost my "lighthouse" all of a sudden; for the whole afternoon, i was trying very hard to pretend that i am busy because no work was given to me and yet they told me to "continue with my work". they were busy clearing his table and posting advertisement on newspaper you see.

this is really a bad omen you know, i am VERY worried.

and i am tired. yes, it is only the second day and i wish i have never signed up for this internship, it is really taxing, both mentally and physically.

july please faster come!!

my first day at work,

2008-05-12T22:14:00.005+08:00

i was NOT late! haha.. reached office 5 mintues before 9am, i am so proud of myself! =)
there was no table for me, just like what i have expected. had to share table with my colleagues until the new furniture come on thursday ( they buy for me 1 leh.. =D )
was really tiring, i started working at 9 all the way until 6 50pm, it was madness man. early morning asked me sort out files (means take out documents from files and put in boxes & move them to the store room to collect dust), i had to do it in a very cramped corner, on the floor, with the photocopy machine beside me. and guess what is the best thing? i was in skirt today! so i couldn't sit down on the floor, i had to squat, kneel, stand for the whole morning .. it was freaking tiring, my knees still hurt now. and then after i put all the documents into boxes, i had to move them to the store room! by then my stomach was growling like mad already; it was already 12. i was thinking, "hmm.. it should be lunchtime now right? why is everyone still working?" and so i waited and continued moving my boxes for another hour. finally, it was 1pm, but, nobody was moving still! i was so hungry i thought i would faint any moment lor, i was really desperate for someone to mention "lunch" or "food". finally! at 1 15pm, they suggested going for lunch! that really save me.
was really busy, my supervisor only let me off at 6 50, after i had completed all the assigned(but not important) tasks. he let me go with these words," ok la, today is your first day, you go off first la.".. i am like..omg, means from tomorrow onwards no longer 1st day so i have to stay even longer?!O.O and i was the first to leave today, even the finance director was having meeting when i leave. this company hires a bunch of workaholics!\(O。O)/
i miss my home a lot, and i really dislike the coffee shop's food. i dislike going for dinner alone, and the idea of me doing that for another 10 x 5 -1-1 = 48 days really turns me off. feel like making myself ill sia..

don't know why but i miss my papa a lot after seeing this photo yesterday. :(

have to go sleep soon, so sad have to go to work again tomorrow, and have dinner all by myself in jurong point. )；

母亲节

2008-05-11T21:15:00.005+08:00

今天是母亲节，祝天下所有的妈妈们母亲节快乐。

对母亲的感恩之情，不应只在今天表示出来，每一天都应让她们觉得是母亲节，但如果今天一点表示也没有的话也不行。本来想带妈妈出去吃一顿好的，怎么知道我们最后却去了麦。当。劳。！妈妈说今天去哪儿都会有很多人，所以就哪儿都没去了。上馆子吃饭嘛，下个礼拜有的是时间。

冒昧的问妈妈她是否有后悔当妈妈，她反问我为什么会后悔。人，为什么一定要有小孩呢？看电视节目上那些不育夫妻想尽办法，什么旁门左道中西疗法古早偏方全部都试，就是要搞一个小孩出来。

有了小孩就一定是幸福吗？他们让你操心劳心担心伤心费心思，但以后一定会孝顺吗？那可不一定。

付出跟收获不一定会成正比，何苦呢？

我只能说，天下的父母都是伟大的。(o^-^o)

发现这张超级可爱的照片：

《佛鼠》

imagine one day..

2008-05-09T00:13:00.004+08:00

when you buy food, you are not allowed to takeaway;

when you want to buy a top, you have to buy, from head to toe, from a certain brand or you are not allowed to be seen on the street in it;

when you buy CD/VCD/DVD, they are playable on players manufactured by a certain producer only,

don't you think this is absurd?
at least i think so.

songs purchased from iTunes stores are not allowed to be play on other players except iPod, I thought this was bad enough. now, even Nokia comes up with something silly: their new online music store sells music that are in certain format, and obviously, this format is not supported by ipod.

so now, people, make your choice: iPod or Nokia?

i guess many people will stick to their free source of music instead.

蚌鹜相争，渔人得利

our ears need peace

2008-05-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

希望我的耳朵能得到它应得的休息。:)

that's why i have decided to go back to basic.

random updates before my judgement days..

2008-04-18T15:46:00.006+08:00

went to to celebrate qian's 21st birthday long long ago..

a very cool birthday cake chosen by alice. there's blueberry jam inside and the cream is super fresh! four thumbs up! (o^-^o)

birthday girl and her very cool birthday cake

yea, it's us again

by the way, my hair no longer looks like that. went to get it cut and coloured like 1 or 2 weeks ago. (:

good news: i have secured an internship with a MNC and it was an on-the-spot offer. what is more, i will be paid at least $100 more than other internship.
bad news: the company is in Tuas, I have to wake up before dawn for two months. I can foresee that my life will be tougher than when I am in school.

good luck for the upcoming exam. i need lots of that.

there's something about Jacqueline:

2008-04-18T14:58:00.006+08:00

She is materialistic.
There is a birthmark on her nose, that is why it always look red.
She often regrets her actions, but more so for those that she did not do.
Indecisive is her middle name.
Being an accountant was not what she wanted; a teacher, if not a nutritionist was what she actually wants.
She has a thing for black, plastic-rimmed specs. Guys who wear specs like that never fail to attract her attention, even if they are really CMI. Basically, She likes handsome nerds. haha..
Guys with small, narrow eyes are very cute in her point of view. So maybe "opposite attracts" does not always stand.

Just had my oral exam 2 hours ago and I flunk it because I misinterpreted the question. never mind, at least I can s/u it.

sigh.

oh, by the way, i missed out 1 last point:

"Jacqueline" is my alias. I first started using it in Sec 2, after seeing my friend had different alias for different magazine subscription. (:

*no bilingual posts today because I don't feel like writing in Chinese today. Maaf.

我的第一次

2008-03-20T00:03:00.002+08:00

第一次申请实习，理所当然地，他们拒绝我的申请。

阿Q一点：如果第一个申请就被录取，那人生还有什么好玩的呢？什么东西都伸手可得，还有什么值得我们期待？

可是！他们连面试都还没有叫我去就把我拒于门外。。。我真得这么差吗？

有可能。。。还是我只是不会写履历表。。。不过这样也好，不是我的怎样都不会是我的，与其叫我去面试然后浪费大家的时间，不如不要去好了。

请让我得到实习的机会吧!(>.<)

my first attempt

2008-03-20T00:00:00.003+08:00

my first attempt in trying to apply for an internship-- failed

MediaCorp rejected my application, without even asking me to go for interview. *sob sob* anyone with a brain that can process emotions will know that I am upset.

I mean, am I that lousy?

but come to think about it, don't think i'll be able to perform in the interview also, so might as well.. save my time, save their time.-shrug-

just hope that i can eventually get one...

Saya tidak senang...

2008-03-08T01:15:00.002+08:00

do things that I am supposed to do | I would prefer to waste my youth away now because I have not much left now
bathe | it is really a chore for me, but i hate feeling dirty, that is why you do not see flies flying around me
feeling hungry | in fact, i love feeling bloated--> stuff myself with food--> feel guilty--> diet --> eat again
talking | especially when i go to work, i spoke 3 sentences on the average when i work after A' Level
make new friends | i don't deny that i am not friendly; unless it is necessary, i would not initiate to make friends with anyone
lying | but i think i can do a brilliant job if i really want to lie
bad breath | it is worse than body odour, truly detest it.

this list is to be continued.. do you know the real me?

do you really understand yourself?

我不喜欢。。。

2008-03-08T00:49:00.003+08:00

做要做的事 | 因为再大一点的我就没有青春可以浪费了=(
冲凉洗头 | 可是我不喜欢肮脏的感觉，所以最后都会投降，乖乖地去冲凉
饿肚子的感觉 | 恶性循环：吃很多--〉感到内疚--〉节食--〉受不了--〉大吃大喝
讲话 | 尤其是当我去上班的时候，记得以前公司里的人都说我很安静，因为我可以一天说少过3 句话。。。
交朋友 | 觉得没必要时，我是不会主动去交朋友或花时间去认识一个人的。
说谎 | 但如果我要的话，我应该是可以说得很好的
有口臭的人 | 比体臭更糟

这只是我清单上的一小部分。你真的认识我吗？

你认识你自己吗？

i will not forget that day...

2008-03-06T20:22:00.002+08:00

i went for tuition, helped my tutee in his Chinese composition, and i actually forgot how to write 测验！i sat there, struggled for a few minutes and in the end, i gave up; i really cannot remember how to write the word.. and i asked him to take out his dictionary...

as a tuition teacher, this is one of the biggest self-inflicted insult i have ever faced. it was much worse than not being able to explain a primary 4 problem sum to my tutee, worse than when i don't know the meaning of some primary school English vocab.. i used to be very happy with myself, for my Chinese is above average standard.. but look at me now, i can't even remember such a simple word! my Chinese is deteriorating without me knowing.. and all this while i thought it can forever maintain at the level it used to be, by just reading newspaper everyday.. seems like i was so wrong.. i was so naive..

and it is not like my English is improving inversely proportionally. i am finding it harder and harder to accurately express myself in English precisely; i end up being very long-winded because i can't find words that can properly describe my thoughts.

what will become of me?

Korean drama are bad for kids

2008-03-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

they teach children to be irresponsible in love. encourage them to be indecisive when it comes to love affairs. teach them that it is ok to fall in love with someone else when they are already attached.

you may say they are only drama that tries to romancitise love and helps people to escape from reality. i agree, i love watching korean drama too, because they are so unrealistic.

but what we see on the TV now may become the reality in future. sooner or later people will think that it is alright to be unhygienic in their love lives; we will then see many Romeos around.

人生如戏，戏如人生。

i believe that in a relationship, there is no such thing as "third party": if you are no longer loved, then it is better to let go than to cling onto it. the party that refuses to leave is the real "third party" in that relationship. but i also believe that everyone should be responsible for every relationship that they enter and they should always try their best to prevent "third party" from being created.

love is not a game; it is a commitment.

A few nights ago..

2008-02-29T13:03:00.004+08:00

the setting was in Hong Kong.

together with some other people, I was turned from a mortal to an angel and being appointed to be in-charge of death, along with another male angel.

We were standing there, being invisible, and waiting for an accident to happen at a bus terminal, and to bring their souls away.

That male angel suddenly scratched my knee and I saw that my blood was black.

"You are now a vampire," he said to me.

For the rest of the dream, he was always around me. Just like Lestat and Louis.

Happiness

2008-02-24T14:58:00.005+08:00

Professor Ruut Veenhoven of Erasmus University Rotterdam found out that couples without children are generally happier than those who have.

U.S. researchers have found other underlying factors: married people are more content than singles, but having children does not raise happiness levels
The pursuit of national happiness

Seems like i am right on the "having children" part.
As for the married/single part, i guess it largely depends on one's age. I mean children will not feel unhappy because they do not have a lifelong partner right?(o.O)

msn handwriting

2008-02-20T21:22:00.003+08:00

wonder if anyone can tell what i am trying to draw.lol.

personal record

2008-02-17T12:02:00.002+08:00

amazing! I have never had so much homework in my 21 years of life before! take a look at the list:

Bahasa Indonesia Grammar P.19 (18/2)
Bahasa Indonesia 80 words composition on describe people (19/2)
Bahasa Indonesia letter- writing (19/2)
Management Science tutorial 4 (19/2)
Corp. Acc. seminar assignments (20/2)
Valuation 2 tutorials (20/2)
Bahasa Indonesia letter-writing (21/2)

i can see the light on my chest blinking furiously, like what always happen to this fellow:

my stress level has reached record high. (o^-^o)

children as investment?

2008-02-15T22:13:00.004+08:00

if anyone takes children as some kind of investment for your old age, think again.

children is a type of investment that has:
very high beta;
extremely high default risk;
rising market risk, relative to other kind of investment.
investments of this sort should yield either very high interest rate or return, in order to attract investors. unfortunately, the outcome is, most of the time, negative. one may not even get one's principle back by the end of the investment!

any rational investors will not put their money in this kind of investment. i am rational.

maybe i should invest in bonds and funds instead; at least i am guaranteed a return.

*just some random thoughts during dinner today @ Pizza Hut AMK central. the food there is, surprisingly, not bad (at least nicer than the one in Tampines)

CNY hangover

2008-02-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

learn this new "word" from maria today, her group mate forgot to there was a meeting today and he said that as an "excuse".. i think this word is real cool! haha..

if him forgetting to do tutorial is his CNY hangover, then mine would be gluttony. was forever munching during the 4 days break.. this week, for 2 consecutive days, i ate more than what my stomach can take, now my stomach hurts..

bian-fu-xia!!=(

jinx

2008-02-11T23:37:00.000+08:00

electronics, once possessed by me, will be spoil in no time.

my calculator can't function properly after i changed its battery; if i bring it to shops, it'll be alright.

guess i jinx all my gadgets. sigh~

2008-02-04T22:23:00.000+08:00

i need a break.
i think i deserve it.

but i don't think i have the time for one.

sigh.

Sua-gu Ching Journal day 17

2008-01-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

went Disneyland on 20/12. that day was the last day of off-peak period (i.e. cheaper ticket), and so, many, many people flopped to Disneyland on that day. hence, it was freaking crowded.

who say Disneyland is not making money?

it was packed. everything we played, we had to queue for 45 to 1 hour; we couldn't watch the Mickey Mouse's Magic show because it was full-house 1 hour before the show started; we didn't have time to finish exploring that tiny Disneyland because we spent a lot of our time waiting; the whole place is commercialised, one-quarter of Disneyland is being occupied by shops, cafes, shops, restaurants, and more shops.

everywhere we went, my first reaction was like "WOW...", very sua-gu right? couldn't be helped la, first time in my life going Disneyland then everything seems so cool and amazing to me..

giant christmas tree at the entrance..took this photo one hour after the fireworks and besides us a lot of people were taking photos also

999 pure silver castle + Disney character, cool right? wonder who will buy this man..
tarzan look-alike, we were laughing like mad when we saw Tazan 'cause I think they both look kind of alike (except the eyes of course).. then sh climbed into the exhibition 'cause all the photos i took were too small.. *tsk tsk*, bad example to kids..

before and after view of using a hologram viewer, cool rite? that's why it was called "snowing Disneyland".. everywhere you looked around through the viewer looks like this..
the fireworks, nice but smelly, and squeezy, very squeezy.. let's just say my legs were numb after the show cause i was squashed..
this was the crowd 1 hour after the end of fireworks.. and it was the closing time already
Tarzan's treehouse

we only took picture with Donald Duck because popular characters like Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse need to queue for 1 hour; to take this picture, we waited for 30minutes.

lunch was at one of the restaurants in Disneyland, surprisingly, the food there was not as expensive as we thought; a set meal of either appetizer+main course or main course+ desert cost around SGD$16. but the standard-wise...

missed our last bus, and so we had to detour. reached Shatin at like almost 11pm. had instant noodle in 7-eleven. so cool right? dine in restaurant for lunch but dinner settled in 7-eleven.. haha
........................................................................................................................................................................

the same thing happened once again, people! i have to go to school for an one hour tutorial on every Monday! i have 2 days of 8am tutorials!

arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sua-gu Ching Journal day 16

2008-01-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

went to collect my Hong Kong IC early in the morning. the IC used in HK is more high-tech than Singapore's lor..they use smart IC, meaning, when we go through the custom, we just need to scan our thumb print, don't need to do anything else.. so cool lor.. felt darn sua-gu when i first used my IC to pass custom..haha.. this is real cool, hope our (?) city will adopt this also.. because it is really fun using the smart IC..

went out to Kowloon afterwards. for your information, all museums in Hong Kong are free admission on every Wednesday, and that was why we chose to go to the museum that has the most expensive admission ticket, the Hong Kong Science Museum..haha.. kiam right?

actually it is more or less the same as the science centre in Singapore, they both have sections and exhibitions on similar, basic science topics.. but it was still fun nonetheless.

magical mirror

they have this section on work safety, quite cool i think, but not very fun. we spent our whole afternoon in science museum because both sh and my bro were having alot of fun in this logic/IQ game section.

sh managed to solve this (after my brother and i gave up, "accidentally" showed him the solution)

walked along Tsim Sha Tsui at night. once again, Hong Kong is really beautiful at night. soon huat spent like half an hour trying to take photo of the brightly-lighted street, but still failed eventually.(>-<) my bro and i took a picture at this exact same spot when we were young

the sky in Hong Kong was like this most of the time- hazy

minibus, a medium of public transport we don't have here. (see how close the bus stops are to the road)

this is my estate, a view from my room

Sua-gu Ching Journal day 15

2008-01-17T18:13:00.000+08:00

went airport early in the morning to pick soon huat up. went Shatin Center after that. wow! Shatin Center is really HUGE lor.. it's like bigger than most of the neighborhood shopping centers here. once i stepped in, i felt super sua-gu, 'cause i don't remember that place being so atas: Most of the shops there sell really branded stuff, especially in this particular building; there was almost nothing that was within my affordable range; i can't buy anything at all(Just imagine the purchasing power of people in Hong Kong: they actually have shops like Chanel, A|X, Marks&Spencer's and Vivienne Westwood in neighborhood shopping centers.*tsk tsk*)

SH and I went to Snoopy Land which was just on the roof. as you can see, the sun was really glaring and it was not cold at all.. thought i could go back HK and enjoy a taste of Winter, then ended up in short-sleeve, no difference from Singapore.. a bit sian

At night, my father's friend gave us a treat and after dinner, the food there was like superb lor.. haha.. and it was even nicer 'cause it was a treat. :p first time i tried mutton that tasted sooooooooo nice, the meat was very soft and tender, and you could really feel this warmth after eating mutton.. also tried roasted pigeon, very delicious also.. if you have not tried eating pigeon before, the texture is finer and smoother than chicken, the taste is stronger than chicken also, the skin is less fattening and thinner, so it's very crispy when it is roasted.. yummy!

we walked along the river near Shatin center. The Christmas decoration was really nice, but the river was uber smelly. I must really kowtow to all those people I saw jogging along the river.

大排挡

.....................................................................................
looks like this semester will be a killer. so sad i have to wave goodbye to my leisure time so much sooner; naively thought that that would only happen after i join the workforce and become another number slave, slogging away behind piles of papers and computer.

really wonder how I am going to handle 4 level 3000 modules and the heavy workload attached, and the thing is: the situation will only get worse, this is the price I have to pay for pursuing a professional degree that finishes in 3 years. guess I really need some blessings.

with great power come great responsibility.

Sua-gu Ching Journal day 5

2008-01-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

finally i am done with cleaning up my room; you won't know how dirty a room can be if it is left unattended for a month.
most of the photos were taken from day 15 onwards; the first two weeks i was busy running errands: cleaning up my house, make my IC and 回乡证 (something i need in order to go mainland China), etc. it's only after sh came we started going on a tour like what other tourists do.
photos are mostly taken by sh, sorry they are not that fantastic 'cause there are too many photos and i don't have the energy and will power to edit all of them.

.........................................................................................
wow! Hong Kong is really a shopping paradise leh; i spent like a total of $1.5k in a month shopping, eating and playing. there are so much to do in Hong Kong, seriously 2 weeks was not enough for me; how i wish i can stay there for a longer period of time.. but well, not money, no time..

i think those people in Hong Kong are really afraid of germs and bacteria; everywhere i went there would be disinfectant gel and wash, and when people are down with flu, they would put on a mask; the TV kept showing advertisement on bird flu and ways the public should deal with contagious diseases (wear mask, see doctor, rest more, drink water); even the KTR station were flooded with announcement asking people not to spit in pubic (because that would spread germs around). i think they have kind of reached this paranoia state whereby when people sneeze/cough without a mask, they would stare. (that happened to me, and i wasn't sick; just that my nose was itchy)

.......................................................................................................................................................................
day 5 in Hong Kong

went Avenue of Stars that night, was uber crowded, just like everywhere else. it was not even like near Christmas or something. it was cold there.. and very hazy..

tried out best to snapped some photos:

actually there wasn't really much to see there, because we went at night, and all the hand prints were on the floor, and it was flooded with nothing but human beings, and there were so many names that we are not familiar with, and there were many names without hand print (most probably because they are dead), many people just stepped on them without even bothering about who they were stepping on. my father said it was kind of sad for those celebrities: it is like their are being stepped on every minute.

the only celebrity i saw people taking photograph was Andy Lau's, the Chinese tourists were like uber excited when they saw his hand print and kept shouting, “刘德华！刘德华！拍照，拍照！ ”. then they crowded around the print and pose there.. kept snapping photos non-stop.. amazing

the scenery was breathtaking. even though it was very hazy that night but we could see the beautiful Hong Kong island, and it was even more beautiful because of all the Christmas light decoration.

东方之珠真的是名不虚传。

to be continue...

thank you, my friends.

2008-01-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

last Sunday went out with the astatine girls to play pool. it was my second time playing pool in my life and gosh.. i am really lousy at it, the white ball either don't move at all, or it went straight into the pockets, even pei hua, who was her first time playing, was better than me. i feel kind of stupid playing pool.. but well, i did enjoy myself.

dinner was at ichiban sushi. i was freaking hungry by the time we got our table, hence, greedy me ordered this:

as usual, i was the last to finish (and ko sing was the first, as always)

guess what was after dinner? my belated birthday cake! i was already bloated and still i swallowed 1/4 of the cake:
before...

after...

p.s. i couldn't walk straight after we left the restaurant; too full.

there was more to come after the cake.. the girls made a birthday card for me!!! was really happy and shocked because i never expect a hand-made birthday card. first time receiving hand-made present from people except sh.
first reaction

really thank you for such a wonderful evening, babes!(:

i'm back

2008-01-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

i am back in singapore, at last!

busy unpacking and cleaning my room, maybe i shall talk more about my trip next week, after i am done cleaning up the mess in my room; it is in its messiest state.

yesterday was much worse; i kicked everything together and made them into a pile so it looks better on photos now.

take a closer look at my table man.. i wonder how i can stand my room being so messy also.. lol, i am amazing.

generally speaking, my thoughts about hong kong after a month's stay:

they are really afraid of germs
it is really crowded, everywhere
they don't stare at people who speak english/mandarin anymore
it is really a shopping paradise
christmas decoration is really much nicer than those in singapore
i can see mountains everywhere
the haze is really bad
the air is freaking dry there
i love winter
i will definitely go back again

i am so glad i actually got 4 core modules; no need to worry about bidding until round 2A. (:

shall go back to my room to clean up the mess now. bye.

An uber screwed up timetable

2007-12-16T23:08:00.000+08:00

my timetable for next semester is already out and it is super sucky. all thanks to the business school and their module preference exercise.

for next semester, i only have 3 core modules and yet i have to go to school from tuesday to saturday. every thursday, i will have lessons straight from 8am to 3pm, without any break.

and worse still, i am taking most of these modules alone.

i really feel like crying.

world vision

2007-12-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

the first thing i am going to do when i go to work and get my salary:

sign up with world vision and sponsor a child.

days in Hong Kong..

2007-12-12T09:41:00.000+08:00

hi everyone, finally i update my blog. currently i am in Hong Kong, physically.

am i enjoying myself? people must be wondering. to tell you the truth, i am wondering if i am enjoying myself also. why not i put it this way: i am stuck in Hong Kong. guess this will better show the picture?

yes, i love shopping here, the things here are freaking much cheaper than those in Singapore. shoes that cost at least 29.90 in SGD only cost 13 to 16 HKD (hence i bought 5 pairs already and there are at least 2 more on my list); you can get clothes that usually cost minimum 20++ in Singapore in Hong Kong at half price; even electronic goods and gadgets (cameras included) are must cheaper than Singapore [yuan, i think your camera is much cheaper in Hong Kong also leh, cause sh said his is at least $600 cheaper in HK than S'pore, you can check with him]

indeed, i have a great time shopping here, but i am not happy, why?

because happiness cannot be fulfilled by material goods. yes, i get to buy a lot of things in Hong Kong, but i lost the freedom i enjoyed in Singapore. can anyone imagine i have to hide all the things i buy with my own, hard-earned, money because my father will scold if he finds out that i bought so many things? everything we do, we have to ask him for permission.

how happy can i be? it feels more like entering a prison than going on a holiday. we tidied up the house for him, he scolded us for throwing his rubbish away; i changed HKD before i came back, he scolded me for doing that, said i should changed with him instead; whenever i go out with him, i wasn't even allowed to look at things because he would be unhappy. i guess he is too used to living alone and has become less considerate for others, especially his family.

how happy can i be? when i feel so strange in this city. i grew up here, yet i feel so out-of-place. i am not a tourist, but neither am i a local, everything seem so foreign to me. can anyone understand this feeling? like you are supposed to belong here but you don't feel the attachment? i have this awkward feeling every day.

how happy can i be? my friend is going through something tough for quite some time already, yet i JUST found out. why? because my house here have no router and so my laptop can't gain access to Internet, and my brother and father take turns to hog onto the computer i have no chance to blog-surf only until today. i feel quite useless, i know even if i am back in Singapore there is nothing much i can do, but being ignorant just made me feel more useless. i know even best friend can't be there for someone 24/7 (sometimes we just have to face our problems alone), but i just feel freaking darn useless.

i know this may look really stupid, but i really like to apologise for being ignorant about your problems and not showing concern earlier.):

this may sound a bit like 无痛呻吟, but i am really not that quite enjoying myself here. and knowing that i am quite useless now just made me feel worse about myself.

can't wait for sh to come HK.

*sorry, no photos to upload. i am too sian to take any photos, i mean, what's the point? let's just wait for sh to do the job.*

the last post before exam..

2007-11-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

this wednesday marked the day when i can start watching R21 shows. the supposed-to-be family event ended up being family + 1 guest event.
let the picture do the talking:

my birthday wish:
become prettier.
*愿望说出来就不灵了，那你说我会把我真的愿望说出来吗？：P

did my teaching evaluation just now. pitied all the lecturers and tutors, their photographs will be scrutinized by all the students they teach. worse, it may even become their laughing-stock.
but some are really funny.

a random post

2007-11-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

anyone ever heard of people suffering from a painful right index finger because they use their mouse scroll too much?

i am an example. i kept scrolling up and down to check my reports my index finger hurt. my other fingers were no better, i have this very "raw" feeling whenever i touched my fingers, maybe it was because i typed for a very long period of time.

after days of endless editing and formatting, both my projects are finally done! it was such a horrendous experience. could not sleep properly because my mind kept thinking and worrying about the projects not being done; every time i try to relax i end up back on my desk within a minute and continue slogging away.

now that they are done, what do i get in return?

pride, satisfaction, and enlarged pores due to insufficient sleep. hence, i shall not use computer again until this weekend; my face need some rest.

i was supposed to study for my finance quiz today but i was not in the study mood and so i cleaned up and reorganised my desk instead. yes, i love cleaning. i love it when i see that my room is clean and green and dust-free.

this is how my desk and the shelf beside it look like now:

and as a result, i didn't get to do anything that is academically constructive. but i don't feel guilty or sinful (at least not yet) because i feel very happy today; i have accomplished something!

i am looking for someone to go try ice-cream with me in serene centre. it is recommended in this week's i-weekly.
anyone interested?=)

gosh...

2007-11-08T22:37:00.000+08:00

i have been reading the same line for half an hour. i am extremely sleepy i can't concentrate.. but, but, but! i have to complete this by tonight NO MATTER WHAT!
really dislike doing one-pager; it is an agony i need to suffer every week and i don't see how it can constructively help me in my understanding or learning of this module.

sian!

p.s. sorry pal, it'll be strictly a "family-only" day.
maybe next time. (:

my deepavali..

2007-11-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

is burnt. spent it on doing P.R.O.J.E.C.T., but it's 99% done.

glad that i spent it on something constructive, instead of like going out and window shop?

one more to go, jia you!

2007-11-04T12:32:00.000+08:00

this morning, somebody in my block got married; i saw the bride walking down the stairs, her gown was sweeping the ground, and the groom right behind her.
it was so sweet, seeing people getting married.

i don't know if others have ever imagined the day they put on a wedding gown before, but i never thought of that before.
getting married is a joyous thing, but i don't think that will happen to me.

actually i quite like the feeling of being single: i have absolute control over what i do, there is o string attached; i don't have to report to someone all the time, i can do whatever i want.
even though being single can be lonely, especially when one was used to share everything with the other half, i believe i can endure that, for i am quite a loner in the first place. i don't like to make friends, i don't like activities that require me to mingle and interact with strangers, i dislike that awkward feeling.

i love my comfort zone.
maybe it is meant to be. some people are not suited to be in a relationship, maybe i am one.

i want a puppy, maybe i will buy one after i am back from hk.

a family person

2007-11-04T00:10:00.000+08:00

14 nov, i am booked.

my mum said she is going to cook all my favourite food for dinner on that day. and after begging her, she gave in and she is going to buy me a strawberry cake! actually i think it's not necessary but she insisted on getting one, so the health-conscious freak in me told her i want to try the low in sugar cake.

yummy!(:

the Japanese are so cruel!

2007-11-02T21:26:00.001+08:00

they are still hunting dolphins now, and they are doing it in such an inhuman manner.

obviously there is a demand, if not why will there be a supply?
Japanese who loves to eat dolphin meat really make me sick.

we eat other animals, this is a food chain. i understand. but do they have to kill in such a manner?
besides, we already have such a large variety of food. why do we have to eat dolphins?

why are there such barbaric people around?

i am extremely disgusted.

我的胃大如宇宙

2007-10-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

what i ate for these 2 days:
sat:

breakfast-- fried egg, sausage, grapes, milk, 1 slice of bread
lunch-- McNuggets value meal
dinner-- home-cooked food, anlene yogurt drink

sun:

breakfast-- grapes, 2.5 buns, milk
lunch-- a lot of garlic bread, 3 slices of pizza (1 hawaiian + 2 meat lovers)
dinner-- korean bibum （石锅拌饭）i think the portion is huge enough for 2 girls with normal appetite; i finished everything myself, half a piece of salmon, anlene yogurt drink

my stomach is turning into a black hole.. maybe this is because i am "dying" and turning into a red-giant/super red giant/or even white dwarf.

lol. wonder how many will understand what i am talking about.

猎人/猎物

2007-10-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

这是猎人与猎物间的关系。

猎物时时刻刻都得提心吊胆，不知敌人会几时出现。
可是我也不要做猎人；要到处寻找猎物，很累。

那我该怎么办？！

饿死算了。

super fascinating!

2007-10-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

took this from sh's blog.. this is super amazing!!

apparently, if one sees the girl turning clockwise, one is more of a right-brained person; if it's the other way (i.e. anti-clockwise), one is more of a left-brained person.

i kept seeing her turning anti-clockwise until just now.. i actually saw her changing direction!!!

gosh! i will never talk about religion on my blog again!

2007-10-15T21:57:00.000+08:00

just after i wrote something about religion and God yesterday.. today, i met some "crazy" woman on the bus!

on my way for tuition, sat beside this lady, think she was on her way to work, suddenly tap on my shoulder and asked if i can understand Chinese, took out a piece of leaflet from her handbag, guess what?

yes! it is about some church and its upcoming activities!!!

gosh.. i was so darn pissed off, almost pissed to the core.. come on, do they have to spread the "God's word" even on their way to work?! it is like they are actually bothered to carry those leaflets in their bags and carry with them 24/7?! and they can just spread their "God's word" randomly to anyone they see, and it is not like today is Christmas or Easter Sunday or Good Friday or any special occasion; it is just an ordinary day!!!

i take my hat off to their hard-core-ness, but please, STOP BUGGING ME!

for God's sake, i go to Guanyin temple at least twice a year to pay my respect, and i have a Guanyin pendant on my neck 24/7..

these people have been bugging me ever since i was a kid in primary school: in school, out shopping, outing with friends, at home, etc.
still remember there was this time i helped this old lady carry her groceries to her doorstep, and guess what? on our way to her house, she kept telling me how great and powerful Jesus Christ is and that everyone should believe in him..blah, blah, blah.. and as a show of appreciation and gratitude, she asked for my number so that she could call me when her church has any activities in future! i was so freaked out i never helped stranger again..

i have had enough!

yuan can cook's birthday

2007-10-15T21:11:00.001+08:00

today is my beloved brother's 19th birthday:

this was his reaction when he first saw the cake

interesting reaction? look at what we bought for him..

a birthday cake with spider man and piggy (hidden behind the "happy birthday")! it is called "cartoon star"!

super LOL right?

Mother Teresa said..

2007-10-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

" We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is a friend of silence. see how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence.. We need silence to be able to touch souls."

the more i study about the Universe, the more i believe in the existence of God; everything does not happen due to coincidences; there must be someone, something out there that created us. what an irony: the more science tries to explain things and happenings, the more puzzled we become. [this paragraph sounds familiar :-p]

i am not saying that believing in God means believing in Christianity or Buddhisms, i just believe that there must be a mysterious figure high above, controlling and making things happen, like the way it did 14 billion years ago.

maybe i have grown up a little.

legend of zelda: phantom hourglass

2007-10-14T12:26:00.000+08:00

the best game i have ever played on ds so far.. this game is extremely addictive..love it!
i even changed my music to zelda theme song.. heh.. even listening to its theme song makes my muscle tickling in excitement.
those who owe ds should try this game man! legend of zelda utilizes all the special features of ds, the graphic is of superb quality compared to other ds games of course.. and the music is great! i hardly turn on music when i play zelda because the sound effect really enhance my gaming experience! i think zelda is not as fun if one turns the sound and music off..
actually i am really not good in writing game review, so erm.. haha, please try the game yourself!

i really think that this game makes my purchase of nintendo ds lite worthwhile; if i have bought PSP i would not be able to enjoy such a great game!

4 thumbs up!(o^-^o)

平常心

2007-10-11T00:45:00.000+08:00

this is the latest stuck-in-my-head song.

was super desperate to get this track on my blog. (i am quit tired of the previous song; listen until can memorize the whole song already) and freaking imeem.com does not have the full version (only a 30 second trial which is like -__-"). super desperate until i was actually thinking of buying the album(i know, so extreme right?).. and suddenly, youtube came to my mind!

sorry, i cannot get the video to start automatically, so please click on that tiny "play" button.

think it looks kind of dumb to have a video clip there but what to do?

thy shall not steal intellectual properties.

我怎么了？

2007-10-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

这几天我像疯了一样拼命吃东西。连续两天晚上10点多去煮一大碗面来吃。今天还吃到我胃不舒服。

越吃越讨厌自己，越讨厌自己就吃得更多。

我真的不想变成和S一样，但我觉得我的行为越来越像她。

压力太大？还是情绪不好？或者是因为天气？ha ha..这几天的天气反复无常,有可能因为这样而使我心情烦躁,所以以吃东西出气..？

我不要沦落到去看心理医生！:(

a forgotten nickname

2007-10-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

i was once known as flunky applepants..

wonder what that means.. think i prefer miss meanie..

but i guess it is better than names like poopsie chickenpants or boobie wafflehead..

so young and innocent then =)

yesterday...

2007-10-07T13:47:00.000+08:00

was thinking real hard last night when i reached home and tried so hard to recall any happy moment yesterday but sadly, i found none. funny things did happened but it is more of like 苦中作乐.. you will see what i mean:

i had my finance mid-term in the morning (8 30am!!) . It really suck a big time 'cause i did not know how to do as i did not have time to practice at all. i only managed to finish revising at 6am on yesterday morning.

after the paper, i had project meeting in school, was reading about Sony and the company history until my eyes could drop out. only had my lunch at 3pm in Clementi Mac. After which, project meeting continued.. and it went on all the way until 11 25pm!!!

okay, there were two project meetings, but i was with the same people along. for the second project, van and i were supposed to proof read the whole report (which is like 15 pages long?). To out utmost horror and disgust, we found out that one of our group mates actually plagiarized and more than 90% of her part was lifted from some sources. obviously, we were outraged. to think she was actually the one who hinted that van & i wrote too little for our very first draft.

what kind of future leaders of the society are we nurturing?

super disgusted.

reached home past midnight with a growling stomach, cooked instant noodle, went to do some more project stuff, drafted my email (i was very clam when i wrote that, never point fingers at others, does not even sarcastic), added this extra part in as a warning to her:

Before I end this email, I would like to share this piece of information with everyone:

The University takes a serious view of plagiarism. Any student found to have committed or aided and abetted the offense of plagiarism may be subject to disciplinary actions in accordance with the Section 3 (L) of Statute 06 (Discipline) of the National University of Singapore, which include:

a.. the student may receive no mark/grade for the relevant academic assignment, project, or thesis; and he/she may fail or be denied a grade for the relevant subject or module

b.. withdrawal and/or suspension of the right to follow courses of instruction or attend examinations;
c.. expulsion from the University
see you guys soon!

finally, this is a photo of my 战利品 last week:

cool huh?

the 3 funny things (or so i thought) that happened yesterday:

realized the new green top(above, on the right) i bought is exactly the same as a top yuan has, but hers is blue, mine is green.
told maria that i was the only one laughing in the cinema when i watched "the Simpsons" 3 times on 3 different occasions.
yuan went crazy in mac after she saw her parents and...

shopping spree! part II..huh?!

2007-10-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

yes, that is right! my shopping mood is back again! ever since GSS in June, i haven't spent so much money on shopping!
this is what i bought in 2 hours in causeway point (when i was waiting for tuition to start):

esprit top x 2 $89.90
Charles & Keith bag $39.90

hence, i spent a grand total of more than $200 in less than 3 hours! to think that i need to give more than 8hours of tuition before i can earn this much.. and, and, and, all the things i bought are "exceptional items", meaning, they are not on my wish-list; i bought them on impulse. :p

however, i am not quite done yet! *evil laughter* planning to buy another pair of Everlast shoes.. trying very hard to stop myself, because if i keep buying things in Singapore, i won't be able to find any excuse to buy things in Hong Kong!!

sadly, i cannot use the things i bought yet because my dad is still in Singapore, my mum asked me to keep all the stuff to prevent my dad from scolding me for being spendthrift. :p

hear this on radio today and i felt very sad out of a sudden:
you have to love yourself first before you can love others
maybe this is the reason why i failed.

i should listen to yuan from now on and recall 3 happy things that happened today:

had arts yong tau hu for lunch and the queue was very short.
satisfied my craving for ya kun butter sugar toast
bought so many things, as a result, i was in a very, very happy mood when i went for tuition, and 1 1/2 hour flew passed.

yuk ching, be happy! love myself more!

shopping spree! & other stuff

2007-10-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

today i spent more than 70 bucks in school bazaar!!! bought a bag, 2 tops and 1 necklace.
think i am really crazy man. spent away the money i earned by giving 3 hours in less than an hour.. -_-"

got my my finance paper.. surprisingly i passed, even though i did not study at all.
guess this is a trade-off for getting such a lousy result for my Understanding the Universe test..

yuk ching! procrastinate no more! act now!!!

saw this on newspaper today, thought it is quite meaning. you should take a look at it: (o^-^o)
“很多东西往往就在我们不经意的时蛻变，等到我们发现他的改变时，或许已经太晚了。”

wow!

2007-10-01T12:03:00.000+08:00

realised that september and october are the two months that i blog alot.
i wonder why.

random, random

2007-09-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

supposed to spend my evening studying for my finance mid-term, ended up watching 《大只佬》. don't know why suddenly i felt i cannot be bothered with all these mid-terms anymore. so 潇洒~ :p

karma.

报复只会让人万劫不复。
yuk ching, please remember. die die must remember.

was listening to class 95 this afternoon, yes, that is another change that i made. i cannot be listening to perfect 10 for the rest of my life and pretend that i am still 17 right? and this is what i learnt:

3 steps to enter a man's, or a woman's heart:

show concern and interest whenever the other party speaks
do not be judgemental
respond accordingly

maybe that is why i am doomed to fail; i cannot even do well in the very first step.

原来你和我从一开始便是个错误，是注定要失败的。那你又何必那么难过呢？
学会放开，才能看见更美丽的世界。
退一步，海阔天空。

说我迷信，i don't care. 但天蝎女人注定是要心碎的，如是那样，我为什么要让自己得到伤害？
要学会封闭自己。

this is so sad, isn't it?

回家

2007-09-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

今天在回家的路上，突然主动牵爸爸的手，才发现，我已经好久没有牵着他的手了。

这种陌生的感觉，是何时开始的呢？

要慢慢找回昔日的生活步伐。

very comforting..

2007-09-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

today, another person reassured how my future will look like: my tutor.

auditors have no social life. after one enters the big 4 upon graduation, one can jolly well kiss goodbye to all other things in one's life besides work, work and more work. that is why a lot of auditors end up being old splinters/bachelor. (i think it's very unfair that unmarried males are called "bachelor" whereas the females are called "old splinter", this is seriously sexist and violate female rights!) and even if they end up getting married, most of them either have no children, or they quit working as an auditor.

one very comforting thing to note though: the big 4 are not very concerned with honours. all they care is whether you are hardworking or not. aka, they are looking for cheap slaves. (yes, considering the fact that auditors work around the clock, the pay is really miserable) so now, getting an honour is stroked off from my list already.

question to answer now: should i do a second major?

oh well, i can really picture myself having a 4-room hdb flats, a beetle, 5 dogs, and no husband.
-shrug-

any kind soul who is pro in photoshop around?

2007-09-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

we desperately in need of someone who can help us photoshop this picture for our "understanding the universe" project:

printed it out but is extremely blur. we need something sharper!

any kind soul around?

if i have death note..

2007-09-27T15:26:00.000+08:00

i will kill all those who smoke.

they endanger lives of not only themselves, but the innocence as well.

damn all those tobacco companies!

photo-time!

2007-09-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

let the pictures do the talking..

mersing trip (08/09/07 to 09/09/07)

our room

the canteen, where we had our meals with all the lovely insects

the nicest room there, which happened to be ours :)

alice & i hiding behind someone shadow 'cause it was too hot

pictures taken by xy and i, edited by moi~

redang (14/09/07~17/09/07)

redang beach

redang trip gang

"my hair is black & my brows are not fake. wow!"

photos: courtesy of yuan.(o^-^o)

ks's 20th birthday at east coast park + pp kbox (26/09/07)

astatine girls in east coast

birthday girl and qian

the not-so-lucky xy & moi

sy & alice

"opposite attracts"

finally, fake eyebrows appears again

友谊万岁(o^-^o)

new eyebrow

2007-09-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

super sian.

the 2 main reasons why i made up my mind in going for eyebrow embroidery are: 1) van said it is not painful; 2) my mum said it won't swell. in the end, i experienced both.

felt kind of cheated.. :p.. joking la.. but seriously i was not mentally prepared for that level of pain which i endured for 2 hours.

and now, they look so fake (cos they are very dark now, looks like i used crayon draw two lines above my eyes) my bro was like, "wow! so fake!" when he saw me.

really wanna hide at home for the rest of this recess week and don't meet anyone.

but i am going to meet the girls tomorrow..

the beautician told me it'll look natural after a week's time. i am keeping my fingers crossed.

i passed my basic theory, finally!
finally i can proceed on to the next stage of learning driving --> get my L (loser)-plate.
van, thank you so much for reminding me that my test is today. you are really becoming my PA.lol.

now playing: 天空

2007-09-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

听着自己的心跳
没有规则的跳跃
我安静的在思考
并不想被谁打扰
我们曾紧紧拥抱
却又轻易地放掉
这种感觉很微妙
该怎麽说才好
时间分割成对角
停止你对我的好
瓦解我们的依靠
在你离开之后的天空
我像风筝寻一个梦
雨后的天空
是否有放晴后的面容
我静静的望着天空
试着寻找失落的感动
只能用笑容
期待着雨过天晴的彩虹

think i'm crazy

2007-09-25T16:51:00.000+08:00

ever since i got my new camera, i like to take pictures of myself.

this is something i took this morning, before i went to get my eyebrows "corrected":

hopefully, with new eyebrows, i can be a changed person.

to someone,

2007-09-25T00:44:00.000+08:00

假如你在看，我希望你知道：

谢谢你给我的爱。
现在的我过得很好，请你也要坚强。
有一些东西，失去了就再也找不回来了。

对不起，我是很残忍。
但是如果我不那样做，我们能够“快刀斩乱麻”吗？只会变成“剪不断，理还乱”吧。
勉强是不会有幸福的。

谢谢你给我这么多美丽的回忆，我会把它们好好收藏起来的。

对不起，你受的伤害都是我给的。是我不好。

不要忘了我们的约定：12月见！
i sincerely hope that we can put the past behind us and still be friends, forever.

qian-dodo!

2007-09-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

hello! i am qian-dodo!my name is very auspicious you know? my owner gave it to me yesterday.
am i adorable? my owner thinks that i am very adorable.

hope that i will live up to my name and bring my owner "qian-dodo"!(o^-^o)

ok, everyone

2007-09-23T23:23:00.000+08:00

now my hair is red, and my head is slanted.

i like it and i hope it will stay this way for as long as possible.

MAPP assessment said that i am someone who resist changes, i only agree to a certain extent. when it comes to my appearance, i hardly hesitate to try new things out, especially in a time like this.

making drastic changes do help one adapt to other changes better.

you should try it too.

2007-09-23T10:59:00.000+08:00

broke my personal record again: didn't bathe for 58 hours!
heh..

my new gadgets:

courtesy of those hong kong credit card companies.
hoho!

finally

2007-09-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

after 3 years, 5 months, 25 days. it's over.

我要快乐。

2007-09-20T19:18:00.000+08:00

现在的我真得很不快乐。

对不起。

倒带
我受够了等待你所谓的安排说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀
终于看开爱回不来而你总是太晚明白最后才把话说开哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来我们面前太多阻碍你的手却放不开宁愿没出息求我别离开你

总是要我乖慢慢计划将来我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代你该给的信赖被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块要怎么拼凑跟重来

终于看开爱回不来而你总是太晚明白最后才把话说开哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来我们面前太多阻碍你的手却放不开宁愿没出息求我别离开